November 3, 2020
What is something that is different today from a year ago that you are grateful for?
When I ponder the changes my life has morphed through over the last few years, I am consistently taken aback by how naive I used to be. I was so sure that I had control over my outcome, and that very little outside of myself would affect my outcome – good or bad. If you had asked me a year ago what I thought today would look like, this is not it.
A year ago, we had no intentions of buying property. I had not yet written a novel – even if only a complete rough draft. I was not sure how much longer I would be able stay married. My baby was not yet walking, nor had any teeth. My cat hadn’t returned after 14 months lost in the wild. I still had hopes of returning to nursing school. I never could have imagined that I would be knitting so consistently by now. I didn’t have any children who had graduated high school, twelve months ago. I was afraid of the world, and a United States where hate trumps everything good. I had joked about a “zombipocalypse” for years, but I never actually imagined that a pandemic would shut down our lives for real.
When I try to imagine “one thing” that is different and for which I am grateful, I just cannot. The best answer is – everything is different. From the outside, that probably seems like a copout. It’s not. Every little piece of my life is so amazingly different than it was twelve short/long months ago. And I am grateful for all the valleys and peaks, and the ability to take naps when it all gets too heavy.